With a nod to Jeff Foxworthy and his "You Might Be A Redneck" jokes...
You might have a big ass if...
- You might have a big ass if when you sit on a chair and your ass "spills" over the sides of the seat
- You fall on your butt and bounce
- You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your ass plowed
You might have a big ass if...
- You consider the phrase "watch it fat ass" a compliment
- When walking along and you overhear, "Look at the shitter on that critter!" and instinctively turn around and smile knowing it's you their talking about
- Every time you try to leave the grocery store they stop and accuse you of trying to conceal and steal two hams
You might have a big ass if...
- People describe your butt as "jigglish"
- You have to buy jeans too big for your waist in order to accommodate your fat bottom
- The U.S.Postal Service assigns your butt it's own zip code
You might have a big ass if...
- You go to get something out of the refrigerator, and accidentally switch the dishwasher on
- You get stuck in a double doorway
- Your skirt is always shorter in the back, than in the front
You might have a big ass if...
- You get busted for having two pounds of crack!
- When you ask the question "Does this make me look fat?" and the answer is " No, your hips do."
- You accidentally knock some little child down when you turn around
You might have a big ass if...
- Your butt is your strongest, most powerful muscle
- When you wear high heels you strike oil
You might have a big ass if...
- Your lower back doesn’t touch the floor when you lay down on your back
- You have a rear shelf that you could rest a drink on
- Its still jiggling 4 seconds after you stopped walking
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