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Showing posts with label self image. Show all posts

Being A Better Bimbo: Piercings for the Bimbo

If you are a sissy with aspirations of becoming a bimbo, 
you need to get some more holes!



First of all, do your ears. Every bimbo needs to wear earrings. Remember, part of being a better bimbo is being seen and to be seen you need to get noticed. Earrings are a great way to draw attention to yourself.

A good bimbo has at least two holes in each lobe and three is better. Put a sparkling stud in one hole (te-he, I just thought of another way to read that!) and a big hoop earring in the other for a good bimbo look. This works especially well when the hoops are really big.

I recommend getting one or two more piercings on the top or back of the ear. I don't recommend getting more than four or five in each ear. If you do, you'll probably come across less like a bimbo and more like a piercing fetishist.




Next up for the better bimbo is the belly piercing. 
Yea, these look best when you have a really flat, tone tummy but regardless of how fit you are, having something dangle from your navel tells the world 
"Hey! Look at me!"



 Considering that a bimbo should be an expert at providing oral pleasures, getting her tongue pierced is almost a mandate. What I like the most about pierced tongues is that it is announcing to the world:
"Hey! I do my best to give great head and I want you to know that!"




If you have a pierced tongue and you really want to give your lover a real treat, 
try using a vibrating barbell tongue ring!
14g Vibrating Barbell Tongue Ring Body Piercing Jewelry


How about some nipple jewelry? Of course! 
What sissy girl wouldn't want to people another reason to stare at her breasts?





 

While not necessarily jewelry for pierced nipples, shields can be really fun. These became much more popular after a certain Super Bowl Halftime Show... 



The convenient thing about these shields is that they don't require that your nipple be pierced.

Sterling Silver Nipple Shields

What about genital piercing? For those girls who have a labia or clitoris to pierce, I say go for it! If you have "boy bits" that is used for penetration, having piercings may not be the best thing. Between the cleanliness aspect to the risk of tearing, I am not personally up for it. Still, I can see myself getting a piercing on the bottom of my sissy sac or between the sac and my sissy hole...




Some people really get into the whole piercing scene and get noses, eyebrows, eyelids, lips, or other body parts. Some people just get a zillion piercings in the ear or some other body part... While there is nothing wrong with any of this, having too many piercings might make you look less like a bimbo and more "alternative." While I do enjoy the alternative look, I want to make super sure people to say "Bimbo!" when they see me!








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Being A Better Bimbo: Speaking Like A Bimbo


There are ways to behave that will help be a better bimbo – for yourself and for your partner. Your attitude, how you present yourself, how you behave, and your appearance are all super important to the successful bimbo. One of the most important aspects of being a better bimbo is how you speak.

Before we get into speaking like a good bimbo, just think about what a good bimbo is trying to do when she speaks. Obviously, when you speak you want to say something and being a better bimbo doesn’t change that. But when a bimbo speaks there is much more to it than just speaking words! Much of what makes a bimbo a better bimbo is her relationships with others. A lot of this has to do with being seen as a bimbo: you want to be accommodating to others, you want to show the proper attitude, you want to be desirable and you want others to desire you. Whenever you speak, you should emphasize these things.

When you speak, don’t be afraid to smile or to giggle and laugh a lot. They say that laughter is contagious and when you smile, people smile back. Whenever you open your mouth, you want people to know that you are fun to be with! Te-he! People are more attracted to the happy, fun girl than to the somber buzz-kill. The better bimbo lets people know how much fun she is and how much fun it is to be with her!

Being a bimbo does not mean that you need to sound stupid. Bimbos are fun, nice people who are easy to be with. They are not intimidating and they are not rude. This is not the same as being dumb or gullible. 

Sure, the stereotypical bimbo may not know anything about physics or medicine, but that is not because they are unable to learn about these subject – it is because a bimbo chooses to focus their attention on other things in life. Bimbos are smart – very smart – but in subjects that they matter to them. A lot of people may not appreciate how smart a bimbo is only because a bimbo doesn’t go around trying to convince people just how smart she really is.

Smart people often intimate people who aren’t as smart as they are. If you try not to show others how smart you really are, you are less likely to make them feel uncomfortable. Nobody likes a pushy know-it-all. Bimbos are fun to be with and being intimidated is not fun. This is why a good bimbo does not advertise her intelligence.

How many times have you been in a party and someone starts a conversation with you but they really don’t talk with you? Instead, they talk at you like they were a teacher giving some lecture. They tell you about their opinions as if they were facts. They will often complain about others and tell you the way things ought to be. They may even get angry and that anger may even feel like it is directed at you. They don’t let you say much and when you do, they cut you off in mid-sentence or ignore what you say. These people don’t make you feel comfortable.

A bimbo would never act this way and takes a different approach to make the people they talk with feel at ease. When a bimbo approaches someone, they do so in a non-threatening manner. The better bimbo has a smiling, friendly expression, they make eye contact, and they are cheerful. Bimbos avoid smirking, sarcasm, and criticism. When a bimbo asks a question, they do it ways so that they don’t sound like an interrogator. The better bimbo makes the other person feel comfortable.

The better bimbo will talk about things related to current activity since that is a shared experience and therefore it is more bonding for the two. They try to ask question that encourage a real conversation. For example, instead of asking a question like “Did you like the movie?”, a good bimbo would ask “What did you like about the movie?” The better bimbo shows that she is genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.

Many people like to brag a little about themselves or their family. It makes them feel better about themselves and the better bimbo will often invite their speaking partner to do talk about about those things that they are proud of. Also, by asking things about the other person, they feel like they are noticed and people like being noticed. The better bimbo shows that she really is interested in the other person and values them enough to give them their undivided attention.



When a bimbo speaks, her voice should rise or fall as a way of expressing more than just the words. The better bimbo’s voice is expressive and she never speaks in a monotone. A “rising intonation” can help convey such things as emotion, interest, surprise, politeness, and insecurity. For example, “She was so glad to see him” might come across as differently if it were said as “She was SOOOO glad to see him” rather than “She was so glad to see HIM.”

Using an ultra-high, squeaky voice rarely works well unless it is your natural speaking voice. For example, Trisha in the following video. Although she is likely speaking with a higher register on purpose, you can tell that she already has a fairly high voice. Just about any sissy who suffered through a testosterone-driven puberty could not pull off a voice like hers. 



The words you choose are really important too! Big, complicated words that only professors use are not fun. When you use a word someone does not normally hear, they often stop thinking about what you are saying in order to think of what the word means. Plus, if they don’t know what the word means then you might feel intimidated and the better bimbo does not want to intimidate anyone. Using jargon is no better. How many times have you lost interest in a conversation with a techie type person once they using lots of computer terms like “double clocked,” “winsock,” or “bit torrent?” The better bimbo says what she means using the easiest-to-understand words as possible.

Whenever you can, try using words that are fun, playful, energetic, or more positive. “I so want to wrap my lips around your big, throbbing man-meat and suck you off until you shoot your hot spunk into my tummy” is so much more enticing than “I want to fellate you until ejaculation.” Of course, you should be aware of your current situation. The words that you use at a restaurant will likely be much different from the words used in the bedroom!

Valley Girl, circa 1981

Even though you might try to sound more playful, try not to imitate the “Valley Girl” talk that became popular in the early 1980s. Every other sentence should not have phrases such as “like, totally” or "Oh my gosh!" It is important that you choose words that are somewhat age appropriate. If you are over 40 but talk like a twelve-year-old then you are likely just to come across as embarrassing - to yourself and to your partner.

The better bimbo is always looking at the more positive side of things. Rather than use negative words, use words that are more neutral. For example, have you ever been to a hospital and noticed how the nurses talk about “discomfort” instead of “pain?” Instead of using words like “hate” and “angry” - as in, “I hate traffic! It makes me so angry!” - you can use words such as ‘don’t like’ and ‘annoyed’. “I don’t like traffic; it makes me annoyed,” sounds much milder, doesn’t it? Even better is to rephrase negative things so that they are positive. For example, “I hope that you don’t mind that I am a sissy” comes across as a bit pathetic whereas “I am certain that you can appreciate having around a sissy like me!” sounds upbeat.


In a similar vein, if you do need to say something that is not positive, try not to make statements about other but rather talk about yourself. For example, rather than saying things like, “You really messed up here,” say something about yourself and your feelings, like, “I feel frustrated when this happens.” It helps the other person understand your point of view rather than avoids them feeling like they are being attacked. Remember, the better bimbo makes others feel comfortable rather than intimidated.

A good bimbo understands knows that, even when there is a disagreement, a discussion is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is not about who says more or who gets to have the last word. It is about getting along. It is about the shared experience. Talking with someone is about doing something with someone. It is an opportunity to make the person you are speaking with feel good about themselves and their relationship with you. In many ways, the real point of a bimbo talking with someone is just to talk!

Listening is just as important as talking. Listening is more than just keeping your ears clean, so the noise comes through. You have to really pay attention to what the other person is saying. By listening, really listening, if they ask a question you will be able to answer. If they tell a joke, you'll know when to laugh. People really like it when are are focused on them. Nobody likes talking to someone who is not listening to them.

People often think they are listening, but are really thinking about what they are going to say next when the other person stops talking. A good bimbo really does listen to what their partner is saying and would never interrupt, although they may occasionally nod their head to indicate that they are following what is said. The better bimbo knows to be patient when the other person is speaking. It may take some time for the speaker to finish and there may be some awkward pauses. Don't be afraid of a little silence. In general, prompting, such as "go on," or "are you done?" will not help and might even make them nervous. You should also generally avoid finishing their sentences when they pause momentarily. The speaker may want to express their thoughts in a particular way, so give them enough time to do so.

The better bimbo will hear them out and reflect back what their partner said so their partner knows that they heard them. The better bimbo will always try to give some sort of positive feedback, such as “That is such an interesting way of looking at it!”

The better bimbo knows that a lot of people like it when you make them feel important.  Don't be afraid to give out compliments and show appreciation. For example, "Wow, that is such an interesting way of looking at it! You really know what you are talking about. Thanks so much for helping me understand this." 

The better bimbo also knows a few things about the importance of body language when talking with someone. They will take into account other other person's facial expression, posture, and gestures to  help make sense of their emotions.

The better bimbo will also use body language to mimic the other person's movement. The movement can be virtually anything, but some obvious ones are hand gestures, leaning forward or away, or various head and arm movements. Mirroring the other person's movements is often picked up unconsciously as a form of flattery. The key thing to remember here is that you need to be subtle about it and delay your mirroring by a couple of seconds.

A bimbo is above all, accommodating, especially to their partner. When the better bimbo speaks, she does so in a manner that is not intimidating or negative. She is fun and easy going, and even if people may think that she is a ditz, the better bimbo is really smart. The better bimbo knows that when she speaks she should not make other people uncomfortable by showing off just how smart she is. Having a fun and comfortable conversation is so important to the better bimbo. She would never talk down to anyone and she is always respectful. The better bimbo is a great listener and will always try to see things from the other person’s view. She understands the importance of connecting with the other person’s emotions and responding with empathy for those feelings. The better bimbo is always fun to be around and how she speaks let’s people know that!


Other "Being A Better Bimbo" articles:




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Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking

What sissy doesn’t smile at the thought of having something hard firmly stroke her prostate? Whether being repeatedly pounded by a stiff, tube of man flesh or caressed by the warm, loving fingers of a partner, manipulating the “Sissy G Spot” is a surefire way to reduce your girlie boy into a quivering mass of simpering lust. My little sissy hole practically pulsates as I write this…



Sure, I really enjoy getting my ass jack hammered and copious amounts of my lover’s body fluids injected into my colon but deep anal penetration often doesn’t give the same G Spot experience the way direct manipulation does. Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking are really special and bring into my erotic play to a whole different level.

I expect that, when people read “Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking,” many people will be a bit confused. Most people think of Prostate Massage and Prostate Milking as being the same – and from a clinical standpoint, they are – but there are differences between the two when you use them for erotic play. With regards to erotic play, both techniques drain the prostate of its juices but one provides sexual pleasure while the other is concerned with orgasm control.




As you probably already know, the prostate is one of several glands in the male body involved with intercourse. The testicles produce sperm that mixes with fluids made by the prostate to produce cum – yummy, yummy cum. Since the prostate is so close to the rectum, it can be stimulated manually via the anus. Manually manipulating the prostate can cause it to release its fluid and when done correctly, can really affect your orgasm.

Massaging the prostate can be done to help bring about an intense, mind-blowing orgasm. This is why the prostate is often called the “Male G Spot.” One partner slips a finger or a toy up into the other partner’s anus to massage the prostate while also giving a hand job or a blow job. The combination of external and internal stimulation often results in stronger orgasms with more fluid ejaculated – a win-win for both partners! This approach to playing with the prostate usually is called “prostate massage.”


Like so many kinks, what turns me on isn’t always strictly physical. The emotional and/or psychological aspect of the kink is super important - and playing with my prostate is no different. “Prostate milking” is the term commonly used to refer to the erotic, non-orgasmic variant of prostate massage, especially between people who incorporate elements of orgasm control and/or chastity into their partnerships.

When done correctly, prostate milking can be used to drain the fluids from the prostate without triggering an orgasm. The act of draining one’s prostate while not orgasming can be an emotional experience. On the flip side, prostate milking can be used to trigger an orgasm without an erection. Orgasming from penetration only while you are flaccid can be life-altering. In either case, it is a tremendous mind fuck.

If you are a sissy like I am, there is a very special meaning to orgasming without having to get an erection. It can really do a job in your head about not being a real man. Some of my best orgasmic experiences have been when milked while being totally soft.

Then there is the whole D/s orgasm control aspect. This is not really orgasm denial as much as training the submissive to be able to orgasm in more than one way and under the control of the dominant but I'll have to write about this in a follow up post.

Like any skill, prostate milking is easy to try but takes a bit of practice to get good at. Since it involves sticking things inside one's body there are some risks involved so a certain amount of caution should be taken such as protective gloves, condoms, lube, etc. There are loads of pages on the Internet that give step by step instructions on prostate massage, these are mostly medically-oriented (see digital rectal exams). Only a few discuss the milking aspect to it in any great detail and hardly any do so with a sissy in mind. Unfortunately, there is quite a bit to be told, so I'll try to do so in follow up posts.

In the meantime, below is a t-gurl self-milker in chastity. Now this gurl knows how to milk! Yum!

Jennifer Milks Herself

If you can recommend a prostate play video or images, please send them along to me. You can either leave a comment with a link or send me an email as sarahstclaire@yahoo.com.

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What Kind Of Sissy Am I?

I am a sissy. Yes, a sissy. For many years I was embarrassed by this and never admitted it to anyone - including myself. It took me many years to understand what being a sissy really was and even longer to appreciate being one.

Now, I am really quite happy that I am a sissy. Why? Simple, it brings me a lot of happiness and fun. But before I get into why it makes me happy to be a sissy, I want to mention what kind of sissy I am. It may not have occurred to you before that there is more than one kind of sissy but there are. Let me explain...

Words, for the most part, are defined by how people use them. "Gay" used to mean "happy" but became a euphemism for "homosexual" and eventually became defined as "homosexual." It is no surprise that the word "sissy" had a similar evolution. 

The word "sissy" goes back at least to the early 1800s when it was a considered a variation of the word "sister." It was a common, affectionate nickname for a female sibling. It was also a nickname given to a girl by others that she has cared for or behaved sisterly towards. The nickname implies that the girl is a sister or is regarded as such by family and friends. Because the word was associated with girls, it started to be used as meaning "like a girl" or "very girlie." Some woman who acted very feminine were sometimes called "sissy", very much in the way we use the term "girlie girl" today. By the 1880s, sissy was being used to mean "an effeminate man." For many years, people assumed that gay men were effeminate so "sissy" was often used instead of "homosexual" although this usage has somewhat faded recently. Another usage that stemmed from meaning "like a girl" was to use sissy to describe someone who was timid or weak like a stereotype of a very young girl. This usage eventually broadened to mean not just timid and weak but also cowardly.


Today, the most common usages are:

1) a timid or cowardly person
2) someone who behaves like a young female child
3) an effeminate boy or man

4) a "girlie girl"

I don't see myself as timid or cowardly, so I don't think that I fit into this first category.  There are a sizable percentage of people who see themselves as sissies who really behave like female children, and often as female infants or toddlers. While I can appreciate just how fun some of the outfits of these adult "babies" or "toddlers", it feels a bit too much like child molestation for me to feel comfortable with personally. Needless to say, I don't view myself as being in this second category.  Although I was born with male genitals, I try not see myself as a man so the next usage doesn't really fit me - but I understand how easily I can be seen as an effeminate man. That leaves the "girlie girl" usage. 



I’m a girly girl. There’s no point in denying it. Have been for a very long time. I was trying on mom’s shoes, bras and jewelry at the age of five. I love love love dresses, skirts, killer heels, makeup, pantyhose, big hair, and long painted finger nails.  Squeeze me into a corset, drop me in a ballgown with a hoop skirt, and tease my hair into a beehive and I am in heaven!


I embrace the idea of being a "girly girl." I love all things feminine. I adore being feminine. I find tremendous satisfaction in doing "feminine things" and being in "feminine roles." I find great joy in interacting in feminine ways and being treated as a feminine person. I feel feminine. I want to be extremely feminine: to bathe in femininity; to exude the feminine; to live in femininity. Not surprisingly, I want to purge all things masculine from myself and my personality which would place more emphasis on my femininity. 

 
I am a girlie girl who just happened to have been with male bits between their legs. I find joy and comfort in hyper-femininity. It feels right for me and it is really fun!




If I am a sissy, does that mean that there is something wrong with me? No. Just because I strive for the hyper-feminine does not mean that I am perverted or kinky. Sure, I readily admit to having some pretty interesting kinks and perversions, but someone is not automatically a pervert or is kinky just because they embrace femininity. Yea, my femininity does influence some of my kinks but that is a far cry from some bible-thumping bigot proclaiming that I am evil because I am sissy. 





Nor should I be considered mentally ill. I am not some sociopath who lacks moral responsibility or social conscience nor do I suffer from "gender dysphoria" because of my femininity. If anything, I better appreciate social justice because of my gender situation and I find joy in being feminine rather than suffer any sort of dysphoria because of it.
 


Is being a sissy misogynistic? No, not at all. Just the opposite... if I hated, disliked, or distrusted women then why would I admire them and want to be one?



Is this masochistic? No, because I do not find it demeaning to be feminine and not be masculine.  I respond very well to things that reinforce my femininity. I love it when I am treated as a woman, when my femininity gets noticed, and when I am reminded that I am not masculine. 



I will admit that I do have a bit of a masochist streak in me so I do sometime get a thrill from being reminded that I was a failure as a man. Still, being a sissy is not defined by having a submissive streak.






I am a sissy. I am a sissy in the hyper-feminine, girlie girl sense of the word. I love being feminine, I love being a girlie girl, and I love being a sissy. I love the primping and preening. I love clothes and the wide variety of styles. I love the makeup and the creativity that makeup allows. I love treating myself to a beauty salon. I love seeing may finger with long, polished nails and I adore having my nails done. I love having doors held open for me and I love the admiring eyes of men. I love moving like a woman. I love dancing like a woman. I love going to the parties and banquets where you can dress to the nines and be with others who appreciate looking this way. Being feminine is fun. Being really feminine is extra fun. That is why I enjoy being a sissy.




Thank heavens that I am a sissy!
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P.J. Sparxx: A Realization



P.J. Sparxx was one of the first porn actresses that really had a profound effect on my gender identification. In my hormonally-driven teen years, my libido really confused any thoughtsI had on sex and gender. It wasn’t until I matured a bit that things became clearer to me. 

P.J. Sparxx that was the first woman that I clearly understood that I wanted to be her and not just be with her.



While I am no Sigmund Freud, I can say that in my youth I had repressed by bisexuality, my gender identification, and the fact that I had a bunch of rather perverted kinks. In the pre-Internet ear of the 1980s, there wasn’t all that much information about sex and gender – except, perhaps, in porn magazines and most of that was not exactly accurate. It was about the time that I started going online in the mid-1990s did I start making sense of things.

Timing worked well for P.J. since she started in the world of porn only a few years before people started going online to exchange porn. P.J. was stilled consider a fresh faced newcomer, and being petite, pretty, and having a totally animalistic sexuality, she quickly became a favorite in the industry.

I started going online back in the 90s with services like CompuServe, GNN, and Prodigy. There were online chat rooms and it was in those chat rooms that I found out about what today we would call “transgender resources.” I did a lot of reading in these resources and started to understand a bit more about myself. One of those things that I came to understand is that sex and gender are not the same. Another one of those things I came to understand is that having different gender identity and being kinky are really independent of one another. Yea, this all seems kind of obvious these days, but back then when I was a young adult, it was eye-opening for me.

Like so many of us online, I did my share of downloading porn. I hit the motherload of porn when I discovered newsgroups like alt.binaries.pictures.erotica. Of course, there were pictures of P.J. Sparxx. 

It was when I was checking out a set of pictures of P.J. Sparxx that something finally clicked in me: I wanted to be her. Yes, she was pretty and since I am attracted to both men and women, I would have loved to have had sex with her, but I realized that my desire to be in her place was stronger than any lust I might have for her. It was clear to me that being her wasn’t due to me being attracted to the handsome, well hung men that she performed with. It was being a woman and enjoying being a women performing with those handsome, well hung men.




 


I started following P.J.’s career. I found out that she started her adult film career in 1990 and appeared in over 200 films under various names including P.J. Kerrington, P.J. Sparx, and Porsche Red. 



Although she performed in a lot of straight scenes, it was lesbian performances that garnered lots of attention. It was a lesbian scene from “Cellar Dwellers 2” in which she won the 1998 AVN Award for Best All-Girl Sex Scene along with Jeanna Fine and Tricia Devereaux. P.J. was also inducted in the AVN Hall of Fame.

 

 



Not surprisingly, P.J. also did a fair amount of stripping. For a while, she was the real-life girlfriend of porn actress Jill Kelly, and the two danced together in an act called “Fire and Ice.” P.J. and Jill even produced a movie for Wicked Pictures about their dance antics called Fire & Ice: Caught In The Act. 


As the AIDS epidemic spread, P.J. became increasingly concerned about health risks and started turning down bareback scenes in favor of more lesbian and bondage performances. By 1999, P.J. Sparxx left the industry






Even though P.J. Sparxx has been out of the business for many years, I still think about her from time-to-time. She changed my life. She helped me move away from a confusing life of denial and repression and start a journey of self discovery. 

Thank you, P.J.

















Here are some videos with P.J.






















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